Let's Check On How I'm doing

So at the beginning of the year, I had written a list of goals I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. And since getting into our new house, I've crossed one more off the list.


1. Start a new blog and try to update at least twice a week. Yes I'm a stay at home mom but I am busier than I ever was at a job.

So yeah, I think I can claim success with this one. So maybe I don't update twice a week but I have been BUSY. Any of you who have bought a house know this.

2. Start food blogging. I need an outlet for for all the baking and cooking I do. And I pledge to include pictures, so help me god. Who knows, I may even send you some. And those of you who got my "Christmas Cards" know I'm not even kidding.

I started off strong but have backed off in the last few months. Again, I was busy buying and selling a house. But at my old house(that didn't have central air) it was too hot to bake in the middle of summer. But that shouldn't be an issue now. Central air and a much larger kitchen will help make that better. I just have to figure out this new oven.


3. I have golf clubs in my garage that my "honorary" mom(that's what we call each other) loaned me. This is the year I will take lessons. I love golf. I love to watch it. I love the players. I love the game. It's especially fun on the Playstation and the Wii. Also Jeff knows how and if I learned, maybe we could introduce it to Avalon and play as a family. And then Jeff and I would have a hobby together, because my attempts to woo him into baking and his attempts to woo me to motorcyle repair just aren't working. Maybe we'll start fresh.

So I didn't get to this one. I probably should've been a little more proactive this spring and early summer but I wasn't and then I ran out of time. Rest assured, it will be on my list for next year.


4. Buy a new house. Yes this will involve Jeff as well but this is the year I put my foot down/quit quibbling and not making up my mind. Avalon will not go to school in this neighborhood. And, damn, I want a freaking kitchen bigger than my bathroom.

WOOHOO! We did it! We nearly doubled our square footage, Avalon will go to a much better school and we are in a house that can be a forever house. I am so excited to start fixing it up. We get to make this house exactly how I want it. I know the work would scare a lot of people but it's mostly cosmetic and besides the floors Jeff and i can do most of it ourselves. I've got a larger kitchen and a dining space!


5. Introduce Avalon to new hobbies and crafts. I know she needs to be in dance. I know once she is used to the routine, the teacher, the other kids, it'll be okay. But that adjustment time can be a rough period, probably rougher on me. But she can be painfully shy in public and seems to have a bit of anxiety. (wonder where she gets that) She is proving to be very artistic and musical. So I want to take her to a local pottery place where you can buy a piece of pottery and paint it, they fire it and we get it back. (http://www.ingoodglazes.com/) And start doing even more crafts that extend beyong the paint, playdoh and cutting and glue. I think in addition to dance she would really profit from some sort of music class. The girl has rhythm and is singing constantly especially to Classical Music. Mostly I need to get my butt in gear and if I am positive about it so she will be as well.

Check and check. This summer I had her back in Rock, Tumble, and Roll and Art class. We went and did pottery a couple times and plan on making that something we do ever so often. It really is fun! And we started her in ballet this fall. She really seems to like it so far and unlike some classes offered at the Y, this is the real deal.


6. We will go on a big vacation this year. Big as in get on a plane go somewhere and stay for 5 days. None of the quick weekends to Chico(although they are super fun) Jeff and I have pledged to set aside the time and money and make it happen. Maybe the Oregon Coast again or Disneyland, maybe even Hawaii.

We did it. We spent a week at the Oregon coast and infected Avalon with the travel bug. She has since asked to go back to Oregon, go back to the ocean, go to Hawaii and go to Disneyland (and space). We had to cancel our small trip to Yellowstone because we sold our house so quickly but hopefully will get to Chico this fall.

7. Continue on my weight loss journey. I've lost 33 lbs give or take a couple pounds. They have been hard earned as my metabolism is not too agreeable. But I've got a couple great doctors on my side and beleive it or not, I crave exercise so that helps.

Just had a check up today and I'm down 50 lbs. It's still slow and steady but I'm losing and that's all that matters. The summer was rough in respect to going to the gym but now Avalon is back in preschool three days a week and ballet the other two so I hopefully can reach my goal of gettting 300 minutes a week.

8. I have started running but i still at my weight can be painful but as competitive as I am with myself, I would love to start racing albeit short races for now. At least one 5k by the end of the year. But hopefully another 20 pounds will help.

I have had oppurtunity after oppurtunity to do this but I have had some other reason. I am actually building quite the stamina and run intervals all the time(seems to melt the lbs away). There is one more oppurtunity coming up but its far away and kinda takes my entire Saturday. So we'll see.


9. After watching Avalon fish this summer with her Grandpa Pat and Uncle Adam and seeing how much fun it was for her and bringing me back to my times as a kid fishing with my brother, I really want to get my license and take her fishing. Catch and release though. I like my fish already butchered(I can't believe I used to do that, yuck!).

So sort of a half check on this one. Jeff got his license and took Avalon fishing when we were in Seeley. She got 20 some fish so not a complete failure.


10. Most importantly, I want to remember to not sweat the small stuff, remember that true family trumps all else and that peace only comes from within. I've got one pretty great hubby, the most awesome munckin and a damn good life. I just need to remember that and I'm golden.

I think I'm getting pretty good at this. This year isn't even close to over and I am rocking at life.

Now, I've gotta get rested up. I gotta house that needs painting. But first I've got to get that wallpaper down. And the light fixtures... But this is the fun part right? Right.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

THE GOOD

Jeff and I killed it this morning. Over the course of the last few weeks, I had managed to get most of our house boxed up and in the garage and the last few days Jeff helped me get all the big stuff into the garage.

After we dropped Avalon off at preschool, we got our uhaul at 9 and went home. In an hour and 15 minutes we had loaded 3/4 of what was in the garage and by the time I had to pick up Avalon at 1130 we had unloaded all but two work benches into the new garage.

Then when we came home, and after dealing with "the bad", we spent the afternoon cleaning and packing etc. Then Jeff's dad came at 3, and filled up the uhaul, my car and the Old Man's truck. We got it all unloaded by 530.

Jeff's sister Katy took Avalon for the evening for "a date with my best friend" as Avalon called it all day. Since we had gotten more done that we expected and were completely exhausted. (The words, "I haven't pushed this hard since I was in labor" may have been uttered pushing a piano into the house) Jeff and I cleaned up and went to dinner ourselves. We hope to be completely out by tomorrow at noon.

THE BAD

So I get a call today from our realtor that the gal buying our house will do her walkthrough tomorrow at noon. No biggie, this is typical. She also says that in order for our buyer to get her funds, the City of Billings has to come do an inspection. Our realtor says that she has never seen this but figures it is probably just a formality.

No it wasn't. There were three issues with our house that the lady with the City of Billings(who wouldn't even acknowledge us, beyatch) Two of the issues, she wasn't going to cite but the third one had to be fixed and reinspected in order for closing on Friday morning to occur.

Her regulations stipulated that each bedroom(4) had to have a smoke alarm and there had to be one in each hallway(2). Easy enough, go buy 6 smoke alarms right? No, wrong. The smoke alarms had to communicate with one another so that if one upstairs went off, it triggered the alarms in the basement as well. Basically if one goes off they must all go off. I had never heard of this anywhere and neither had our realtor. So, we drop what we are doing.(No wait, we dropped what we were doing so they could do the inspection) and head to Lowes to see if there were options that didn't include hiring some company to wire our house to do this. Low and behold they do make something. There is a brand that makes Wireless Smoke Alarms. And luckily there are only 6 left. But unlike a typical smoke alara which cost $5-10 these are triple the price. So $200 later we have this stipulation corrected.

Frankly, I am tired of spending money on a house that I am not going to live in anymore.(I feel like I've spent more money on this house in the last3 weeks than I have in the last year) Two, why couldn't this lady have made this inspection a week ago. Why wait until two days before closing, interrupting our whole process. She also says that she has to come back to inspect to make sure we did it. That means she has to come tomorrow or we don't close. And then our realtor tried to get a hold of her all afternoon and she never answered and wouldn't return her calls. Douche Bag!

and lastly

THE UGLY.

So, since we got way more done than we had planned and Katy had already planned on taking Avalon for us, we went out to dinner. And since it was a long ass day, I endulged in a margarita at Texas Roadhouse. (I also ate bad choices but there were SO good.) Anyway, I am halfway through my marg and I am feeling it. And I don't mean buzzed. I am drunk. Half a margarita and I am trying not to slur my words and sit up straight. CHEAP DATE, that's what I am.

I don't drink often or very much. (Too many calories, I like to eat my calories not drink them.) And judging by this evening, I am a lightweight.

3 days and counting

Only three days until the big move. I cannot wait to be moved for Avalon's sake. Her anxiety is through the roof manifesting itself with sobbing and wailing and being sick. Yesterday she kept telling me she was sick and had a sore throat and bad tummy. But when we went to Grandma's house, she was mysteriously fine and played like crazy. Then we come home, and she's sick again. Poor kid.

My "long lost brother" has recently come into my life. Okay so he isn't long lost, I've known where he was. But we stopped communicating about a year and a half ago. He landed himself in prison. We were communicating by letter and I visited him once. But everything that I wrote or said to him ended up coming back to my via my dad using what I wrote and said as ammo against me. (My dad took on Joe as his mission to save him, Joe hadn't talked to my parents nearly as long as I have until that point) I asked Joe if he could please keep our conversations between us. I have to protect my family and those we love from my dad's antics which can be very disruptive.

Well he couldn't and so I backed off and quit communicating with him(which my dad then used as evidence of me abandoning joe, although before he said I was enabling him.) I will do whatever I have to do to keep my dad and his manipulative angry ways away from Jeff and especially Avalon. And if that means I have to give up other relationships I will. If you make me choose, I choose Jeff and Avalon.

Anyway after getting out of prison and living in a halfway house, Joe who had become close to my dad, mom and sister ended up living in an apartment my dad has. I've known all along that shit would eventually go done and things would go south. I just didn't know when.

Well about 2 weeks ago, just that happened. My dad intercepted Joes mail and read his bank statements and thought he was misspending his money. He also told Joe's parole officer that he must be doing drugs etc and created a bit of a mess for Joe. Joe has sinced moved into a new apartment.

Well when this all happened, Joe called me and the first words out of him mouth were, "Our Dad is something else."

I just said, "Well I knew you'd come around eventually." My dad will never change. He may seem to for a while but he always resorts to the same old shit.

So while I am glad that Joe and I can rebuild our relationship I am very cautious. I got burned bad this last time around and I can't be too careful especially when it comes to my family.

Sometimes, I am just done with all the drama.

Funny dog

Last night Murph was laying between Jeff and I with his but right up by our faces.

Jeff says, "You need to move him."

"All winter long you want him to sleep up between us and now that he is you want to boot him?" I asked.

"Pretty Much. It's summer and it's too hot."

"Well," I suggest, "You better move him."

"You know if I try to move him that he'll growl and snap at me."(Only time Murph gets pissed off).

"Well you want him to move, so you move him."

"Really??" Jeff asks. "You're gonna make me move him."

"Yep." Just taunting him to get his goat.

"Oh come on, just move him."

"Fine," I give in with Jeff expecting me to push his butt down our shiny comforter.(Because he never barks at me even if I move him.) I am the alpha to him although he thinks he outranks Jeff and Avalon.

Instead of physically moving Murph, I say, "Okay Murph, time to go to bed." With that he gets up and walks to the foot of the bed and lays back down to go to sleep.

Jeff goes to bed just shaking his head.

29 is not old right?

When I think of 29 the number it seems old. I mean 29 is right down the street from 30 and 30 is in the same neighborhood as 35 which is pretty darn close to 40. Okay I may bit exaggerating a bit but 29 seems old and well, I don't feel old.

Perhaps its the 50 lbs I've lost so far although in my opinion I've got another 50 to go but I have had more energy in the last 6 months or so. I feel like I'm finally figuring life out. Sad I know, it taken me nearly 30 years to be comfortable in my own skin and know how I want things to be. I've also figured out that I am the only thing standing between me and what I want. Deep. Just kidding. Just, the number I am and the number I feel don't match.

It still seems surreal that we are moving this week. You'd think with every box I've packed and every box I have hauled out to the garage, it would seem a little bit real but I still can't beleive it. And on the whole, I am SO excited. I am so excited to be in a house that we get to fix up just the way we want. I am so excited to have a house that I can host Thanksgiving in. I can't wait to make Christmas cookies in my new kitchen with Avalon. I can't wait to go running in my new neighborhood. I can't wait to pick flooring samples, and paint samples and light fixtures. I love knowing that we plan on being here as long as possible. And when the thought of doing all the remodeling/fixing overwhelms me, I remind myself that no matter what does or doesn't get done, Avalon is going to a much better school.

But when i think about leaving this house and somebody else living in it, I feel so sad. This house will always be ours. I will have lived all but 2 years of my twenties in it. I grew up here. And, with the way I grew up, you should know exactly what I mean.

Jeff and I hadn't been married even a year when we moved in. This is where we adopted our first dog and so far only dog. (I think even Murph is having anxiety over everything. Poor thing is losing hair like crazy). I learned my decorating skills with this house and thank God that has evolved. (By the time we've been in our new house for about 10 years I ought to have it figured out right?)

We found out November 6th of 2006 that we would get to be parents. July 11th of 2007 we brought Avalon home from the hospital. I learned how to be a mother in this house(although I'm still figuring that one out). Thus far, this house is where we've made all our memories. It's where we've celebrated Christmas and birthdays and the first days of school.

And I know that we'll be making new memories in our new house! But getting rid of this house almost seems like getting rid of those memories. It's almost like once I start to forget things about this house, I'll start to forget the things we did in the house. And those are things I never want to forget. Nearly a third of my life has been spent in this house. And truly, they have been the best years of my life.

And judging by Miss Avalon's dramatics of late, I think the anxiety and hoopla of the move is really getting to her which is totally understandable. I just want her to know that this move is a good thing and make it as enjoyable and as fun as we can. And it will be. I am so excited to move to our new house. (But come Thursday night, I might be a smidge teary.) But a house doesn't make a home. Jeff, Avalon, Murph and I make the house our home.