Turns out I was worried for nothing

The inspection on our house didn't go as badly as I had anticipated. She is negotiating 4 fixes, three of which we are doing. The last one concerning a window fix, is undecided until I get some quotes.

I'll let you know how that goes.

Tomorrow we have the home inspection on the new home. Cross your fingers things go well!

It's like waiting for Christmas but not

I don't think I have had this much extended periods of anxiety since I had post partum depression after Avalon was born.

And while everyone tries to reassure me that I'm just being a pessimist, I can't help but think that things have gone so well to this point that something has to go wrong. When does anything go 100% our way. Our realtor really feels this deal was meant to be and that nothing on our inspection will be a deal breaker. And while I know she is working for us and we are her paycheck, I have never felt she has made her money at our expense. It's probably for this reason that we are using her the second time around.

I guess it is just that I want to move to this new house so badly, that I would be devastated if things fall apart.

So far, no panic attacks, so that is an improvement over a few years ago but ask me tomorrow when we get the results from the inspection. I have that lump in my chest, like it is rising up but so far, I think I am handling it better than I would have in the past. But it is ever present for me. The wait for the results has taken so long it seems just like waiting for Christmas but in the negative since.

Until then, I may have to start drinking.

Yeah about that sleep.

It never came. I thought as soon as I got the house cleaned and "ready" for listing, I could take a day off and sleep.

Last Thursday after our realtor came by and took pics of our place, she called about 430 that evening and said that her office was on the ball and instead of Friday morning, they would have the listing up that afternoon by six. Thursday night about 8, I got a call from a realtor wanting to show my house the next day at 11.

So I got up Friday, proceeded to "hide" the fans in the garage, dust one last time, run the vacuum upstairs again and mop the kitchen. Right as I was finishing, I got another call from a different realtor who wanted to show my house so we scheduled her for 1130. So I got Avalon, myself and Murph-dog out of the house [yeah Murph in the house during the showing wouldn't have been a selling point, who'd a thunk it ;) ].

Little did we know but about noon on Friday our realtor got a call that one of the showings was bringing an offer on our house, less than 12 hours after we had listed. She later told me, she didn't want to say anything till she had the offer in hand.

Our realtor did call me about 1PM while I was out shopping to let me know she was dropping off some fliers at the house for showings. Strangely, she asked, "What's Jeff up to today?" I told her he was just in his office that day and she didn't say anything else. I actually had told Jeff about it right after I talked to her because it struck me as so strange. At 2:45, she called back and presented the offer to us.

The gal intending to purchase our house, is a first time homebuyer with ties to the southside. She offered 2k less than asking, requested I leave all of my curtains and wanted no help with closing costs, as she is preapproved for help with it through Montana Board of Housing and City of Billings. I said, to our realtor, "Forgive me if this sounds ignorant, but I'm not seeing anything bad with this scenario." The purchase of our new home is/was contingent on the sale of our current home. Basically, there isn't anything too bad with her offer. Her offer is contingent on getting help from MBoH and CoB but she sent along with her offer where she had been preapproved through these programs as well as her bank and had already taken the classes necesary to get preapproved.

So now, it is a wait and see kind of game. Next week is the inspection of this place and our inspection of our new place. So, as long as their are not major issues with that or appraisals, sometime mid september, we move out of our house and into the new one. The waiting and anxiety of it all have me not sleeping even though I am exhausted from spending the last week, cleaning 24/7.

And as much as I have wanted to move(especially since Avalon going to Kindergarten is quickly approaching) i get kinda sad to think of leaving this house. Jefff and I basically started our post college lives in this house, got our first dog and had Miss Avalon here. It is the only house she's ever known! We are only about three blocks away from Jeff's folks in this house. And even though we won't probably see them any less, there will be no more walking across the park to visit.

But I am excited to move into a bigger house that hopefully we should never out grow.(In fact last night, I mentioned to Jeff that the main floor of the new house is 197 sq feet less than the total square footage of our current house) I have a newer bigger kitchen, with a full sized dishwasher!

Jeff maintains most of his garage space, we have an even larger lot on a quarter acre while also maintaining a long driveway(which we never new we would love so much but Avalon never has to play in the street!) It has 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, an official master, fireplace/gasinsert with mantle and formal dining area(christmas and thanksgiving anyone?)

And even though the house needs some work, it is mostly labor that Jeff and I can tackle. We are however, going to have all new flooring installed on the main floor except the kitchen where the flooring is new. Depending on how the sale of our current house goes, we may do it all including the bedrooms, but at the very least, the dining, living room and hallway and stairs. I think we are looking at engineered hardwood/laminate in those three areas, and carpet in the beds but that decision is a ways off.

And of course, we have to paint, remove mirrors and get new light fixtures. But I'm kinda looking forward to it all. If we had to, I know we could get our investment back out but more importantly, we intend staying here for a very long time, so I look forward to making this house mine/ours. ANd we have all the time in the world to do it. And even if we didn't tackle a single one of these projects, Avalon will still go to a better school.

But nevertheless, the whirlwind of all this has my anxiety levels at an all time high. Wondering about all the "what-ifs" gets me all sorts of worried so things need to happen sooner than later so I can stop worrying. Buying/selling a house is so stressful!

Well, I went to bed at 1230, got up at 445 becuase I had been tossing and turning the whole time, maybe I should try to go back and get some rest although I feel like I could be up for the day. Wish us luck, send good thoughts, say a prayer, rub a buddha belly, whatever floats your boat!

After tomorrow, I'm going to sleep 12 hours straight

Tired is the understatement of the year. Exhausted is more like it. Don't confuse this with sleepy. I don't feel entirely sleepy. Perhaps sleep is a bit easier but my body is tired. My feet and ankles ache. I have bruises everywhere and I can only bend a certain way for fear of hitting the catch I have in my back/tailbone.

But my house is sterile clean, rid of clutter and being listed by Friday morning at the lastest. We reoffered on the house we made an offer on and then failed to negotiate successfully a couple weeks ago. They agreed to our terms and hopefully we can sell ours in the next couple of months and be in a new home.

Our new place is in a great neighborhood with great schools(especially compared to the schools in our neighborhood) It is considerable bigger on a large lot. The kitchen is newer, a garage big enough for Jeff, a deck like we have now, a long driveway. It is 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2800 sqft.

The entire main floor needs new flooring in my opinion. Its not dirty but dated. Our plan is to purchase flooring before even moving in. I will have to change all the light fixtures(just like I did in our house now, their gold) and paint and remove mirrors(what is it with old people and mirrors). Three rooms have wall paper and will need removed. I wouldn't say this house is a fixer because it is quite livable the way it is in. But at the price we got it, we can make all these changes and get our money back out if we had to. But this house, is hopefully a forever house. So we can take the time and fix the things we want to change and make it ours. It has awesome potential and a awesome neighborhood. And hey its mostly labor and cosmetic, no big deal to me. Yay!

So lets think good thoughts that things go according to plan, that we can sell our house in a timely manner, and no one else tries to offer on this house.

In the meantime, after tomorrow when pics are takn of the house for listing, I am relaxing. I have been cleaning since last Thursday.

Night all!

You'd think with as much as I apologize about not blogging, I might try and do it a little more often. But alas, life gets in the way. This summer has been crazy busy with one thing happening after the other. Plus, now that I am trying(and doing) to be more social, I've always got something going on. I'm not complaining, but it is definitely a little out of my comfort zone but hey, maybe I needed that.

Really I just need the routine that the school year brings. Three days a week, Avalon will have preschool(three days a week with three hours to do what I wish which is mainly working out, sad, I know).

We have one more little trip for the last weekend in August to Yellowstone and Chico. I am excited to go but at the same time, ready to settle down for the fall.

As you know, we've been on the house hunt. We found a house, made and offer. Before presenting our offer, our realtor discovered someone else was making an offer as well and wanted to know if we wanted to change our offer. So we upped our offer to asking price plus sellers cover 5k in closing(which helps us be more flexible withthe sale of our own home)

The sellers decided to negotiate with the other offer but when negotiations failed they came back to us but said we had to pay 5k over asking price to cover the 5k in closing costs. Noone in this economy is getting asking price for their homes, and we put our best foot forward with our original offer, they need to gie a little too. So we refused their counter but told them if they change their mind, we would stick by our original offer. We're thinking that they will come to their senses and come back. They hadn't had any interest since they listed their house in April and no other offers since ours and the other that they couldn't agree upon.

So, in an attempt to ready our house should we need to list it(or if we decide to list regardless) I've been cleaning like I'm nine months pregnant and nesting. (I'm not, thanks for asking) We are getting rid of the clutter(which wouldn't be clutter if I had more space) and streamingling things and then cleaning every surface. Today alone I used 5 Mr.Clean magic erasers and I still have the whole basement. But we are renting a storage unit until we find a place and move.

Just got back from a trip to Great Falls and the cabin at Seeley. Avalon and I went up early and got to spend 3.5 days in Great Falls. Avalon had 3.5 days to spend with her other set of grandparents(yes she calls them Grandma Joelene and Grandpa Pat) and even though they aren't my biological parents, our relationship is how I imagine most moms to treat their kids.(or as Jeff's parent treat us.) It was nice to have someone else cook dinner and since she has a fancy schmany washing machine that I can never figure out, she even did my laundry.

I got to see some girlfriends and their munchkins, do some shopping and just relax. We headed to Seeley for the weekend. We did some boating, dock moving and more relaxing. Pat's stepmom, Grandma D(elores) was up there as were both his sisters and their spouses. Grandma D invited Avalon up to her trailer for a real tea party. Avalon even walked up their by herself and thought it was the best thing ever!

Pat's one sister and her husband and are both blind and have guide dogs. Avalon took to Joy pretty quick and kept asking her to do things that required eyesight. I tried, politely, all weekend to explain to her that they couldn't see. I wasn't sure she got it until she brought it up tonight at Walmart, of all places. Pat's other sister brought her puppies up with her to, 4 shih tzus. Avalon was absolutely astounded that you can actually hold a dog and dogs actually play fetch. (Poor Murph has obviously been such a disappointment in this area) By Sunday she was asking us to get her a small dog she can play with. And because Jeff loves these shih tzus, we just may have a new dog in the future.

I'm not afraid of the responsibility of a new dog(and maybe one we can train early one). I'm just afraid of how Murph would handle it. I don't want him to feel replaced but I don't know if he would be to agressive with a new dog. I don't think that he would be mean but when we had the cat, he LOVED to play with the cat and put the cat on guard all the time and the cat became mean aways trying to protect hiimself. We'll see. I don't mean to be the party pooper, but taking care of a new dog will all come down to me and I'm not sure if I want to tackle that yet.

Alright, thats it for now.

Thoughts and other things

Avalon and I are headed to Great Falls, Tuesday and then Friday Jeff is coming up and we are all heading up to the cabin at Seeley. I'm looking forward to relaxing, swimming at the pool, seeing some friends and their munchkins. I'm excited for Avalon and I to have to girl time(yeah I know we have girl time every day right). But its nice, Joelene cooks dinner for us, no laundry, lax schedule and I'll read all those books I've been collecting..

Speaking of books, I'm getting my spanish texts out. I've got a work book I bought a while back. Thought I would freshen up my skills. A friend asked me for some help translating. Kinda reminded me that "yeah, I have those skills, don't want to lose em." I do use enough of it around Avalon that she has started saying a few things: gracias, vamos(lets go), adios, hola. So until, mi amiga has some more translating she needs done, I am gonna try to keep fresh.

But aside from the drive from Billings to Great Falls, I'm looking forward to this week. And it's not even that bad of a drive but I get nervous giong long distances with Avalon. I try not to think of what could happen and because I am nervous it makes me hyper aware but I still pack, major caffeine so falling asleep is not an issue. And thankfully she is a much better rider than when she was little. And I got a super safe ride so that helps.

I don't know how to say this without sounding like a cheeseball. But Amy Winehouse's death struck a chord with me today. In the last 5 or 6 years, I kid you not, I think I have bought two CD's. Hers and Bruno Mars. You have to have one hell of a CD to get me to buy it.

I think she had an incredible talent and sadly like too many other people, addiction cost her so much. Granted we don't know what caused her death today but I'd venture to say that even if it weren't an overdose, it is related to her addiction in some way.

And if you haven't had to face addiction closeup, you may not realize that if affects more than just the user. It affects every body around them. It truly is a disease. I feel for her family. It took prison for my brother to confront his addiction. But his addiction left an exwife and son in the wake not to mention parents and siblings worried and concerned for him wanting to help but trying at the same time not to enable.

Its funny how those sort of things touch you. The only other time I remember a celebrity dying was August 31st 1997. The day Princess Diana died.

Speaking of deaths, a couple of things in the news lately have just made my faith in humanity that much less. The slaughter in norway of 82 people at the camp is shocking. How can one personhave that much hate? How can it take the police 90 minutes to show up? Sometimes I feel too naive to the ways of the world.

And because Great Falls is my hometown, I keep up with the news there as well as what Joelene tells me about what's going on. And the domestic/child abuse cases in the last year have numbered far too many. Children left with a mother's boyfriend, have proved very dangerous for too many small children.

I did recently read the book "Stolen Life" by Jaycee Dugard who was kidnapped at 11 and held captive for 18 years and gave birth to two children fathered by her kidnapper. I think aside from my past, I would have read this book. The story is fascinating in that she was found all these years later. But I think because of my abusive upbringing, I am drawn to books of this nature. I could give you a list a mile long of the ones I've read. And as bad as it may sound, but I think i read these books beccause in a way, i don't feel like such a freak. There are others out there who have had crappy things happen to them. And don't a lot of people want to know they aren't alone? Twisted I know.

Going to another open house tomorrow of the same house we already looked at. We're taking Jeff's parents because we appreciate their objective view. It is in a great area on a HUGE lot, double the square footage of our house, has a sizeable garage and kitchen. On the downside, it is a little dated. It would need, in my opinion, all new carpet. But the carpet is decent, just dated, wouldn't need to be changed immediately. But the neighborhood is terrific and it would be a good school for Avalon. So we'll see. Its the first house Jeff and I have agreed on for a long time.

Anywho, things are on the up swing!

My Munchkin is Four

We celebrated Avalon's birthday this last Sunday the 10th, the same day as Jeff and I's wedding annniversary. I know everybody remarks about kids growing up so fast, but it's true. It abslutely doesn't not feel like 4 years has passed.

Jeff and I had a hard time this year deciding what to get Avalon for her birthday. She's at the age where she sees something fun and she wants it. And frankly, I think she has everything else. So we had to decide what she wanted most. And I think everything came out all right.

Below is a pic of one of her oddest gifts. She has asked me to buy her this huge thing of cheese puffs for months now. She had them last summer at a picnic and has wanted them ever since. And its not that I'm opposed to her eating them(even though they are junk, she never eats much of anything), but what are we going to do with three gallons of cheese puffs? But as we were struggling with gift ideas and she had asked twice the previous week for them, we figured why not? And just as i thought, I have nowhere to stick three gallons of cheese puffs, but she likes them and that's all that counts. And, she was so excited to see them on her birthday that she was licking the lid. Silly kid

She has all but given up TV shows. The only one she has any interest in at all is Sponge Bob, and as you can see if was very prevalent at her party.

She had asked and asked for a "yata" as she calls pinatas. (Not sure why or how she knew about them) We got it about a week before her birthday and she played with him the whole week. They had tea parties, and he was her baby etc. So we thought she might be sad if he was destroyed. So we talked about just letting her keep him but she ultimately decided she wanted to stuff him with candy and wack him open.

We were not prepared for a four-year-old hitting machine. She hit that pinata with incredible ferocity. We didn't know she was that strong or aggressive but she got the job done, and we picked up the candy we had just stuffed in their a couple of hours before. But apparently, eating candy out of a pinata is much more fun.

In other news, we've just been trudging along. We've got plans to go to Seeley and the cabin at the end of July. Just like last year, Avalon and I are going to go to Great Falls early and Jeff will come up on Friday. So Great Falls peeps, if you wanna do something, shoot me a line.

We have plans in late August to go through Yellowstone and stay at Chico Hot SPrings during that little trip. I don't know who decided they loved Chico lately, but I'd appreciate it if they stopped. I can't get reservations there to save my life and we used to be able to go whenever.

I haven't been baking much as I've been trying to watch what I eat and it's been too damn hot to turn the even on. But i'm not complaining. It's about time for some decent whether. But feeling an obligation to blog about what I bake, kinda takes the fun out of it.

And we've just been busy. It seems like every day is filled with something to do and we spend so much time outside that its usually pretty late before we come in. Avalon hasnt made it to bed on time once yet this summer. But that's what summers are for right?

I've been running a lot more when I work out. I still have that unfulfilled goal on my list from the first of the year to run a race. I think a friend and I are going to run the labor day race in Red Lodge and maybe one in October in McCleod. It gives me a goal to work toward. But it feels good to be running again. I ran a lot in high school(not for a team but on my own, in an attempt to control my weight so my father wasn't mad) but I really learned to love it and its taken a while to build up the stamina but I'm getting there.

I do have a sore ankle that doesn't help thinks especially since I really hurt it hiking last week. But my knees have quit hurting. I think the weight loss has really helped with that. I haven't lost anything recently but I kinda took the last couple of weeks off from obsessing about exercise and not count my calories. It didn't hurt me, which teaches me to quit obsessing but I gotta get back to losing.

Alrighty then enough of the epic update, lator gators!