So, as we ushered in 2012, I went back to my list of goals(not resolutions) that I had made at the beginning of 2011. And of the 10 major goals I had in mind for myself and my family, I completed 8 of them. Not too shabby, considering they were mainly big life changes.
And while I will never quit setting goals for myself because I think making and reaching goals help me to be my better self, I feel happy(?not quite the word I'm looking for) maybe even satisfied with where my life is and where I'm headed in relationship to those I share my life with.
Yes, I want to continue losing weight this year, I will run a race this year and I already cut the info from the paper to get started with golf lessons. I know that getting a new dog this year is in the cards for our family, we want to take Avalon on another big trip, and we have lots of plans for the house.
But mainly, I am going to be happy this year. I will love where my life is at and what I am doing and slow down and not only stop and smell the roses but enjoy them too. If something doesn't get done or doesn't live up to my expectations, I will realize that there is obviously something more important knocking.
That's not to say I haven't been happy but I feel like I spent most of being 28 chasing something to make myself a better person because I didn't feel like I was living up to certain goals and ideals I had in mind.
When I moved out a long time ago and began living life, I set some major goals for myself. I always had someone telling me what to do and wasn't really allowed to make my own decisions. And since I felt my leaving was an incredible opportunity, I wasn't going to waste it.
I knew I wanted to go to college. I even had plans for going to graduate school. I was going to have a career. I had no attachments and even felt a bit alone in this world so I knew I had to depend on myself. I would do school, establish a career, travel abroad(i do have a Spanish degree afterall). I figured it would take me a solid 10 years to do that. Then perhaps maybe find a spouse, start a family and see if that was what life had in store for me.
I wouldn't say I'm completely unromantic and I think a majority of females have a tendency to create unreal fantasies of love. But I didn't feel that way at all. The only marriage I truly had ever been witness to was my parents. And, from what I saw, it was nothing I wanted to be a part of. I never had fantasies of a wedding, houses with picket fences or even children.
But during my freshman year of college that all changed when I met Jeff. Suddenly I could imagine being married, settling down and eventually children. I had no plans to rush off to another country if it meant Jeff and I had to be apart.
We finished school, got married, Jeff got a job while I finished student teaching, bought a house, and settled down. Jeff's job was awesome for a fresh grad and continues to be a great job. And by that point, we weren't willing to move away from here and his family(not sure he was ever willing, but my plans sure changed after I got to know them).
We decided to have a baby and the rest is history.
So when I hit 28 last year, I felt somewhat unfulfilled. I felt like I left some goals undone and met many earlier that I had planned and didn't go above and beyond. Twenty-eight was the year I had set for my younger self to have conquered the world.
But as the year passed and I turned 29, I realized how foolish that thinking was. I have an incredible life. Sure it didn't turn out the way I had planned, but it turned out the way it needed to. I learned you can't conquer the world in 10 years, it takes a lifetime.
This year, I am working on going with the flow, not sweating the small stuff and enjoying the little things in life that so oftened get lost in the shuffle. So if my living room doesn't get painted in a timely fashion because Avalon and I spent the week at the park because of the nice weather so be it. And while I really am going to try and accomplish my goals, its okay to not always meet them because it means I did something probably equally as important that I hadn't planned on.
Have a fantastic 2012. I know I will!