What can I say? We've been stuck in the house for way too long. Avalon and I are SO tired of this weather. And while Avalon has never been great at entertaining herself, its even harder to do when we spend all day in the house.
I go back to the dietician Monday. I hope there is progress. I've been a little less preoccupied with it. That is to say, I'm not in a constant state of panic. I find myself more stressed on the weekends when its harder to calculate what I'm eating since we go out to eat more. I have felt a little better this week like my clothes are fitting better but that could be the result of eating less vegetables as the dietician instructed. Less fiber, less bloat. I know I wasn't having much success doing it my way but I only stressed about losing weight. Now I stress about eating all that food and not losing weight. I'll admit it, I think I ahve some serious issues with food.
ON a similar front, I've been working out so much that I've worn some pretty intense blisters/calluses on my pinky toes. Ive been medicating them and they've been getting better so hopefullly its not something I have to see a dematolligist about. Because as you Billings people might know, it takes months to get into one.
We've been in contact with some builders but with Jeff's current schedule and the intimadation of the process, we haven't made much progress on the new home front.
I baked/made a few things but forgot to take photos so I don't have anything to post. And I'm kind of tired of cooking right now.
Just feeling kinda blah and I'm pretty sure its the lack of sunlight. So tired of snow!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Me Want Cookie
Tomorrow is Avalon 's Valentine's Day party for her preschool class. And unlike her other parties, where I looked for just the right thing(being fun to preschoolers but still allowing me to try somehing new) I knew I would be making these.I made these last fall when I first discovered them and having no need for a dozen cupcakes, I took them to my sister-in-laws preschool class. Avalon of course ate her fair share and immediately requested I make them for her class.
She has since reminded me numerous times that I needed to make them. But after time I thought she had forgot all about them. Then a few weeks ago when I began looking at Valentine's Day decorations and sprinkles, I asked her what she wanted me to make her and she piped up, "Cookie Monster Cupcakes!"
For such a cute result, it really isn't that hard and while it took me longer than most recipes, it was not too terribly time consuming.
1. Bake a boxed cake mix into cupcakes and after they cool, frost generously.
2. Take a small package of coconut. Add to food processor. Sprinkle generously with blue food coloring and pulse until smoother and evenly colored. Don't over process, you want some of the texture to resemble Cookies fur.
3. Dip your frosted cupcake into the coconut. Past on coconut to fully cover the cupcake so frosting doesn't show through.
4. For eyes, use white Wilon melting chips. Use black gel frosting to draw dots for the eyeballs. Put the eyes on the cupcake wonky to resemble his eyes.
5. Next, cut a small slit in the cupcake and slide in a cookie of your choice for his mouth!
It really couldn't be any easier. And when I see my sister-in-law and her preschool class, they always ask if I brought any Cookie Monster cupcakes! They've made a lasting impression!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Valentines Day
For many people, Valentine's Day marks a day during the year to celebrate their love for one another. And while something to the tune of that, happens around here, Valentine's marks the day when I chose to leave home 10 years ago tomorrow.
I speak of my parents often and typically when I do so I am actually speaking of Pat and Joelene who are not my biological parents. I left home 10 years ago after enduring years of abuse at the hands of my biological father and a mother who chose not to protect us.
The first few years after I left, Valentines Day was a painful reminder of our failure of a relationship and how wrong things were. The first few were marked by hateful letters by my biological father telling me how awful I was for this that and the other.
But the older I get, and especially now with a loving husband and wonderful munchkin, I get to celebrate Valentines Day as the wonderful commercial holiday that it is! ;) That's not to say I don't have some twinges of nervousness that tomorrow I'll recieve some hate mail. But each letter that gets sent affects me less and less. And Valentines Day can also be celebrated as the day I left home, survived the harsh things that had been a part of my prior life, and began learning to carve out my own way of doing things and loving those who are in my life now.
I don't have regrets in the least, but never thought that 10 years would pass since my leaving and things more or less remain the same: no relationship whatsoever. But its okay. I'm okay. I don't want pity. I wouldn't be where I'm at or who I am without going through it.
So on this Valentine's Day, remember not only the obvious people you love but the not so obvious ones that without their influence, you would not be the same.
SO on this Valentine's Day,
Thanks to Julie Cathy and Nikki who discovered my issues and made me realize it wasn't okay. Supported me through those first days, weeks, and months. P.S. I still have that teddy bear you gals gave me in the care package you gave me when I moved into the Mercy Home.(His name is Humphrey)
To Joelene, initially, who showed me I had options, and ultimately to her and Pat, who allowed me to move in when I had no where else to go, became the parents I never had and always needed. And to Adam and Andy, who let me become part of their family and never once said otherwise, put up with me and all my weird tendencies. You were the first "normal" family I had ever been around at a time when normal was at an all time low. And now as grandparents and uncles, you mean even more to me.
To Jeff. You are the first person who convinced me that love was unconditional even when I didn't think I deserved it. You opened my horizons on so many levels. (Drunk sledding anyone? j/k) I knew we were meant to be within weeks of meeting you. I'm glad you were on the same page! And we had the most incredible miracle, Avalon.
To Jean and Cecil. Where do I even start? You were the most laid back people I had ever met up until that point. And with the sorta crazy I came from, I needed that. (I still felt that way even after you threw a wood stove off the back porch) You still are the most laid back people I know. You offer the calm when I offer the crazy. Since, I met you, I always thought you were pretty great(and I'm not kissing ass Old Man) and now even more so as grandparents to the best munchkin ever. Plus you had some pretty great kids!
And, to Avalon. I absolutely knew love was unconditional when I had you. You are the greatest joy of my life.
I speak of my parents often and typically when I do so I am actually speaking of Pat and Joelene who are not my biological parents. I left home 10 years ago after enduring years of abuse at the hands of my biological father and a mother who chose not to protect us.
The first few years after I left, Valentines Day was a painful reminder of our failure of a relationship and how wrong things were. The first few were marked by hateful letters by my biological father telling me how awful I was for this that and the other.
But the older I get, and especially now with a loving husband and wonderful munchkin, I get to celebrate Valentines Day as the wonderful commercial holiday that it is! ;) That's not to say I don't have some twinges of nervousness that tomorrow I'll recieve some hate mail. But each letter that gets sent affects me less and less. And Valentines Day can also be celebrated as the day I left home, survived the harsh things that had been a part of my prior life, and began learning to carve out my own way of doing things and loving those who are in my life now.
I don't have regrets in the least, but never thought that 10 years would pass since my leaving and things more or less remain the same: no relationship whatsoever. But its okay. I'm okay. I don't want pity. I wouldn't be where I'm at or who I am without going through it.
So on this Valentine's Day, remember not only the obvious people you love but the not so obvious ones that without their influence, you would not be the same.
SO on this Valentine's Day,
Thanks to Julie Cathy and Nikki who discovered my issues and made me realize it wasn't okay. Supported me through those first days, weeks, and months. P.S. I still have that teddy bear you gals gave me in the care package you gave me when I moved into the Mercy Home.(His name is Humphrey)
To Joelene, initially, who showed me I had options, and ultimately to her and Pat, who allowed me to move in when I had no where else to go, became the parents I never had and always needed. And to Adam and Andy, who let me become part of their family and never once said otherwise, put up with me and all my weird tendencies. You were the first "normal" family I had ever been around at a time when normal was at an all time low. And now as grandparents and uncles, you mean even more to me.
To Jeff. You are the first person who convinced me that love was unconditional even when I didn't think I deserved it. You opened my horizons on so many levels. (Drunk sledding anyone? j/k) I knew we were meant to be within weeks of meeting you. I'm glad you were on the same page! And we had the most incredible miracle, Avalon.
To Jean and Cecil. Where do I even start? You were the most laid back people I had ever met up until that point. And with the sorta crazy I came from, I needed that. (I still felt that way even after you threw a wood stove off the back porch) You still are the most laid back people I know. You offer the calm when I offer the crazy. Since, I met you, I always thought you were pretty great(and I'm not kissing ass Old Man) and now even more so as grandparents to the best munchkin ever. Plus you had some pretty great kids!
And, to Avalon. I absolutely knew love was unconditional when I had you. You are the greatest joy of my life.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Cleaning out the Pantry
Valentine's Bark!
I came across this idea on one of my favorite food blogs. I also have a pantry that needs cleaning out from Christmas. So I took her idea and used up what I had. And how can you go wrong with chocolate and sprinkles? Aren't sprinkles inherently happy?
*Melt your leftover Ghirardelli white bark(about 3/4 lb)
*Add puffed rice
*Spread on wax paper on a baking sheet
*Melt your leftover Ghirardelli chocolate bark(about 1lb)
*Spread on top of the white bark mixture.
*Sprinkle that half used bottle of sprinkles you've had in your cupboard for ages
*Then dot with the conversation you bought your kid because they absolutely needed them at the store but then never ate.
*And if you live in Montana or a northern climate, stick it out on your deck and it will done in about 10 minutes.
The Finished Product
So when I finished it, I had some of the chocolate left over, too much to throw away but not enough for which to do anything. So in an effort to keep cleaning out my pantry, I used a half of a bag of butterscotch chips and melted it with the chocolate. Then, in a bowl, I crunched up the rest of the Christmas pretzels I had(Note, even the most busiest of bakers cannot use up 3 lbs Christmas shaped pretzels before Christmas), mixed it with a bag of popcorn and a bag of M&M's, drizzled the chocolate mixture over it and layed it out on wax paper to dry. I took pictures but there is really no way to make them look appetizing. I like to do the same thing with white bark and add craisins or raisins and Reeses Pieces. You really can't go wrong!
Coming up next: Cookie Monster Cupcakes for Avalon's Valentine's Day party.
New Milestones
Avalon has hit some interesting milestones here as of late. I know that most kids reach most of these milestones but when your own kid does it, it's 1. way funnier 2. way sillier or 3. way more puzzling.
* Avalon has had a huge leap in the amount of imaginative play. She is better at pretending about things that are not acutally there or tangible. And in the last week and a half, she has had a new friend accompany her and I most places. "Snake" as she calls her imaginary friend goes to the store with us and plays with her and like to watch Spongebob. Today, unbeknownst to me, Max joined the group. She has a Max in her preschool class so I just assumed that is who she was talking to. But when she mentioned that Max has "sore feet" too, I wondered if she was just making that up. I asked her if Max goes to the doctor too and she replied that he came with us.
I never had an imaginary friend so the whole thing is rather new to me but I know that its not uncommom for children to have them. And for how imaginary they are to me, they are very real to her and you'd best not sit on him when you sit on the couch.
* She has also taken to throwing the biggest tantrums ever! For example, last night she kept asking to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house and it was too late so we asked her if she wanted to call Grandma and she said yes but as soon as she got on the phone she started crying hysterically begging to go over. So we hung up and she got progressively worse. Soon she was shrieking at the top of her lungs. She had the option of going to her room to calm down or time out. She wouldn't choose so I put her in time out with the warning that if she wasn't calm when the buzzer went off she would get another minute(This happens from time to time so she knows I'm serious). When the buzzer went off she was calm and we discussed why we couldn't go over that evening but that she was gonna spend the next afternoon at Grandmas. The worst part though: Jeff and I couldn't keep a straight face for any of it. Its hard for us to keep a straight face whenver she gets imeout because its so far and few between that she actually does anything requiring punishment.
I think also because these tantrums are rather new to us, we just didn't know how to react and it was amazing that she could be so emotional.
* She also has taken to talking her own little language, mostly gibberish. I always ask her what she is saying and she'll translate. Today however, she said, "That's how you say it in Spanish." Yes I have a degree in spanish and occasionally give her commands in Spanish but I don't beleive I have ever once said, "That's how you say it in Spanish."
* Today she gave me a huge kiss square on the lips complete with teeth, spit and smushing of faces. "That's a princess kiss," she smiled proudly.
* Lastly, Avalon is asking me questions I really don't want to answer. Holding a newborn of one of the other mother's in her preschool class. Walking away, she said, "We should get a baby like that one."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, How do we do that?"
"I don't know. I'll let you know when I figure it out."
* Avalon has had a huge leap in the amount of imaginative play. She is better at pretending about things that are not acutally there or tangible. And in the last week and a half, she has had a new friend accompany her and I most places. "Snake" as she calls her imaginary friend goes to the store with us and plays with her and like to watch Spongebob. Today, unbeknownst to me, Max joined the group. She has a Max in her preschool class so I just assumed that is who she was talking to. But when she mentioned that Max has "sore feet" too, I wondered if she was just making that up. I asked her if Max goes to the doctor too and she replied that he came with us.
I never had an imaginary friend so the whole thing is rather new to me but I know that its not uncommom for children to have them. And for how imaginary they are to me, they are very real to her and you'd best not sit on him when you sit on the couch.
* She has also taken to throwing the biggest tantrums ever! For example, last night she kept asking to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house and it was too late so we asked her if she wanted to call Grandma and she said yes but as soon as she got on the phone she started crying hysterically begging to go over. So we hung up and she got progressively worse. Soon she was shrieking at the top of her lungs. She had the option of going to her room to calm down or time out. She wouldn't choose so I put her in time out with the warning that if she wasn't calm when the buzzer went off she would get another minute(This happens from time to time so she knows I'm serious). When the buzzer went off she was calm and we discussed why we couldn't go over that evening but that she was gonna spend the next afternoon at Grandmas. The worst part though: Jeff and I couldn't keep a straight face for any of it. Its hard for us to keep a straight face whenver she gets imeout because its so far and few between that she actually does anything requiring punishment.
I think also because these tantrums are rather new to us, we just didn't know how to react and it was amazing that she could be so emotional.
* She also has taken to talking her own little language, mostly gibberish. I always ask her what she is saying and she'll translate. Today however, she said, "That's how you say it in Spanish." Yes I have a degree in spanish and occasionally give her commands in Spanish but I don't beleive I have ever once said, "That's how you say it in Spanish."
* Today she gave me a huge kiss square on the lips complete with teeth, spit and smushing of faces. "That's a princess kiss," she smiled proudly.
* Lastly, Avalon is asking me questions I really don't want to answer. Holding a newborn of one of the other mother's in her preschool class. Walking away, she said, "We should get a baby like that one."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, How do we do that?"
"I don't know. I'll let you know when I figure it out."
Monday, February 7, 2011
Foot Doctor
Had a physical therapy evaluation done today for Avalon. She has been a tiptoe walker since she started walking and we can't seem to get her to stop tiptoe walking so we decided to see an expert.
She does not have hypertonia, where the muscles in her feet and legs are overtone and create a stiff foot/leg that can't straighten out. Her achilles heel is pretty tight. So we have some exercises where she walks around like she just got her toes painted. She also has to do squats or walk around in the squatting position as well as me stretching her heel out several times a day. Basically we need to teach the rolling of the foot where we step with the heel and roll to the ball of the feet as most people do.
So while she definitely has an issue, the therapist is optimistic that taking care of it now when she's three we can definitely be able to stop the tiptoe walking. She also said that she hopes 3-4 months of therapy every other week should be all that it takes. We are going to keep the occupational therapy appointment also to see if Avalon is tiptoeing in an effort to avoid touching things.
Yay for good news!
Now if only it would stop snowing and warm up so Avalon and I can play outside!
She does not have hypertonia, where the muscles in her feet and legs are overtone and create a stiff foot/leg that can't straighten out. Her achilles heel is pretty tight. So we have some exercises where she walks around like she just got her toes painted. She also has to do squats or walk around in the squatting position as well as me stretching her heel out several times a day. Basically we need to teach the rolling of the foot where we step with the heel and roll to the ball of the feet as most people do.
So while she definitely has an issue, the therapist is optimistic that taking care of it now when she's three we can definitely be able to stop the tiptoe walking. She also said that she hopes 3-4 months of therapy every other week should be all that it takes. We are going to keep the occupational therapy appointment also to see if Avalon is tiptoeing in an effort to avoid touching things.
Yay for good news!
Now if only it would stop snowing and warm up so Avalon and I can play outside!
Friday, February 4, 2011
On my mind
I haven't stopped thinking about this little boy since I saw this: http://jezebel.com/5748688/mom-could-lose-kids-over-hot-saucing-punishment.
If you want the full story, you can go here: http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1545/?preview&versionID.
In case you haven't checked these out its about and Alaskan mom who punishes her 7 year old boy she adopted along with his twin from Russia. As punishment for lying, she makes the boy gargle hotsauce and take cold showers.
I just want to hug that little boy and let him know that this isn't what mothers do to their children.
At this stage in the game, I'm very lucky(and maybe a decent parent too) that Avalon is generally a very well behaved little girl. So I don't understand what its like to have a difficult child. However, judging from the video, the little boys infractions seem like what most other little boys would do at that age. And no matter how Avalon could act, I COULD NEVER do that to her. That's not to say children don't need consequences but this woman's treatment was in humane at best.
Needless to say, he hasn't left my thoughts since I saw it. However, while many people are still thinking about this boy because of the shock, disgust and out of sympathy, I really can empathize with this child. I grew up in a home just like that and to some extent probably worse.
And while I don't talk about much of that anymore, this boys story reminded me of some things that hadn't thought of in years. I remember my dad making my brothers take a shower outside with the lawn hose because they hadn't cleaned up the bathroom they way he thought they should.
I just want to tell that little boy, that he does not have to let this woman and her actions define his life. The day will come(and for him probably not for 10ish years) when he can make his own choices and decisions and choose not to live that way or continue the cycle. I truly wish that he can overcome this and does not lead him to a life of anger that can have far serious consequences as an adult. I just hope that his mother gets the justice she deserves and will not hurt her child anymore.
Understand this, the damage is done. As I wrote on a facebook post, "What she is doing is scarring that child for life. He will never forget what she has done. He may forgive her for it but he will never forget. Doing what she has done will leave an imprint on him for the rest of his life. And if we are leaving imprints on our child, don't we want them to be positive? That's not to say a child won't need punishment or consequences, but this was absurd and totally out of line. It was especially tough for me to watch because he is so young and helpless."
If you want the full story, you can go here: http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1545/?preview&versionID.
In case you haven't checked these out its about and Alaskan mom who punishes her 7 year old boy she adopted along with his twin from Russia. As punishment for lying, she makes the boy gargle hotsauce and take cold showers.
I just want to hug that little boy and let him know that this isn't what mothers do to their children.
At this stage in the game, I'm very lucky(and maybe a decent parent too) that Avalon is generally a very well behaved little girl. So I don't understand what its like to have a difficult child. However, judging from the video, the little boys infractions seem like what most other little boys would do at that age. And no matter how Avalon could act, I COULD NEVER do that to her. That's not to say children don't need consequences but this woman's treatment was in humane at best.
Needless to say, he hasn't left my thoughts since I saw it. However, while many people are still thinking about this boy because of the shock, disgust and out of sympathy, I really can empathize with this child. I grew up in a home just like that and to some extent probably worse.
And while I don't talk about much of that anymore, this boys story reminded me of some things that hadn't thought of in years. I remember my dad making my brothers take a shower outside with the lawn hose because they hadn't cleaned up the bathroom they way he thought they should.
I just want to tell that little boy, that he does not have to let this woman and her actions define his life. The day will come(and for him probably not for 10ish years) when he can make his own choices and decisions and choose not to live that way or continue the cycle. I truly wish that he can overcome this and does not lead him to a life of anger that can have far serious consequences as an adult. I just hope that his mother gets the justice she deserves and will not hurt her child anymore.
Understand this, the damage is done. As I wrote on a facebook post, "What she is doing is scarring that child for life. He will never forget what she has done. He may forgive her for it but he will never forget. Doing what she has done will leave an imprint on him for the rest of his life. And if we are leaving imprints on our child, don't we want them to be positive? That's not to say a child won't need punishment or consequences, but this was absurd and totally out of line. It was especially tough for me to watch because he is so young and helpless."
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