It's like waiting for Christmas but not

I don't think I have had this much extended periods of anxiety since I had post partum depression after Avalon was born.

And while everyone tries to reassure me that I'm just being a pessimist, I can't help but think that things have gone so well to this point that something has to go wrong. When does anything go 100% our way. Our realtor really feels this deal was meant to be and that nothing on our inspection will be a deal breaker. And while I know she is working for us and we are her paycheck, I have never felt she has made her money at our expense. It's probably for this reason that we are using her the second time around.

I guess it is just that I want to move to this new house so badly, that I would be devastated if things fall apart.

So far, no panic attacks, so that is an improvement over a few years ago but ask me tomorrow when we get the results from the inspection. I have that lump in my chest, like it is rising up but so far, I think I am handling it better than I would have in the past. But it is ever present for me. The wait for the results has taken so long it seems just like waiting for Christmas but in the negative since.

Until then, I may have to start drinking.