Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Fat Guy in a Little Coat

Name that movie! Wasn't Chris Farley the best? Apart from the cocaine addiction and sudden death at a young age, he was great. Okay maybe not the best example. Still he was funny as hell.

Funnyness (is that even a word. Call me Sarah Palin, I'm making up words now. Wait don't. She's not my favorite. No "refudiating" that) aside. I've been heavy most my life. If you grew up with me and know me now. You know that to be true. I remember being in kindergarten and telling my teacher I couldn't have a cupcake someone brought because "it wasn't good for my diet." Yikes! Kindergartners on diets? Crazy but it's true. I've dieted most of my life.

Yes I'm genetically presdisposed to being large. My family is crazy tall and "big boned"(I don't care who you are, big boned is not an excuse.) but I am not predisposed to being a chub. Poor eating and exercising habits get you there. Unfortunately those started when I was young and my efforts to change them were always short lived. That is, until now.

Growing up, my dad usually dishedup my plate and then I had to clean my plate. Really it was from the era they grew up in but never a good way to teach eating habits. I struggled, yoyo'd and gained and lost while growing up. I've done it the healthy way and some not so healthy ways.

However, after having Avalon, it has been incredibly hard to lose any weight. I wish I could blame it on baby weight but Avalon is three and not so much a baby any more.

I've do have some thyroid issues that unknowingly caused me to gain about 60 pounds my first two years of college. However, any of my weight issues in the last few years(while complicated by thyroid,) are all mine. There is no blaming it on anybody. I didn't eat right or exercise enough. Plain and simple.

Then about 15 months ago, I reached the highest I've ever been(not counting being pregnant) and freaked out. Yes, I want to be thin, fit into cute clothes, and look good, but more importantly I want to be healthy, not have aches and pain at 28 years old and set an example for Avalon. I absolutely DO NOT want Avalon to ever have these habits or struggles.

So I joined the Y, tried to exercise 3-4 times a week, and cut and counted my calories to 14-1500 every day. That first 20 pounds game off rather quick. The next five were harder but then I stalled for months. Finally through the summer I lost another five. But by this fall I was stalled again so I went to my doctor and basically said, I'm at wit's end. So i tried cutting calories some more and exercising some more and it took of a few more pounds. We changed a medication that totally destroyed any appetite and I lost a few more until I was at a 32 pound weight loss. That is an average of 2.3 pounds a month. Is it too much too ask for 1-2 pounds a week?

The last few months I've been eating 7-800 calorie a day, not because I was starving myself but becausee the medication I'm on makes it so I never feel hungry. However, this really hasn't helped me lose any more weight. And I'm frustrated as hell! I work way too hard to not have any results.

I weigh and measure everything I eat and count all my calories and try for an average of 150 minutes of week of exercise. So my primary doctor referred me to a endocrinologist. We did some tests but didn't really discover anything major. We changed a couple of medications in an effort to amplify my efforts although as of yet, I haven't seen much change. He also referred me to a dietician who I saw today.

I have to go back to her for basal metabolic test to establish my baseline caloric needs in exact but in the meantime, used simple weight loss equations for where I should be at until this test is done. And using the governments, new "MyPyramid" set up my basic needs. While I'm not expecting miracles, I am looking for help to make this a little easier that it has been. I know what foods are healthy and which ones are not. BUt I don't know how many calories I need or exactly where I should be getting them front. As it stands, at 800 calories a day, my diet consisted of veggies, pasta once a day and a serving of meat. Not healthy or plentiful but I truly am not that hungry.

However, her suggestions until the follow up test are as follows(This is only a guideline for me)

Goal: 12-1300 calories a day
Breakfast is a requirement. At least 150 calories but preferably closer to 300. Breakfast is hard. I'm not hungry in the least in the morning. It seems counterintuitive to eat when you're not hungry. But as we all know, it's what gets your metabolism going. She said what also is important is to try and feed yourself the same times each day for breakfast lunch and dinner. Once your body knows that it is always going to be fed, it won't be inclined to hold onto fat in fear that is not going to bed fed. She said for me who is not feeling hunger, it will teach me hunger cues. I've spent years trying to ignore my hunger and now that the medication I'm on eliminates that, I've got to relearn feeling hungry. Strange I know.

Grains: 4 oz ( basically 2 servings a day)
Vegetables: 1.5 cups a day (probably 3 servings a day but since when I cook a steamfresh bag of broccoli and eat the whole thing for lunch, that easily could be my total for the day)
Fruits: 1 cup (I love veggies. Fruit on the other is rather gross or at least most of the fruit we get up here. This will be a struggle)
Milk: 2 cups (Basically 2 servings so maybe a cup a milk and a yogurt and I'm good for a day).
Meat and Beans: 3-6 oz (Thankfully this a small amount as I don't love traditional meat sources. But greek yogurt and cottage cheese count so that's helpful. But if you have greek yogurt, you have to count is as a dairy or as a meat but can't qualify as both. In short I need 50 grams of protein a day.

Basically these guidelines leaves me roughly 150-170 calories a day to use as I please, say for oils, dressings, snacks or treats. Nothing is outlawed which is nice because there are times of the month when I might need a chocolate or two. (Ladies, I know you can relate)

So I started today and it really is going to be harder than cutting back on food.

Here is my journal for today thus far:
Breakfast: V8(30cal) Greek Yogurt(120cal), 1 veg, 1 dairy
Lunch and snacks: Frozen Noodle Meal (290 cal) Broccoli(40 cal), pineapple (60 cal) 1 veg, 1 fruit, 1 grain, 1 protein.

That's a grand total of 540 calories for two meals. That means by after dinner I will have needed to eat at least 660 more calories. That is a lot of stinking food! But at this point I am willing to do it. Yes I may seem obsessed but I am trying to do it healthily and for the right reasons. But if I don't make it a focus, then I get lazy and cheat and cheating didn't help me lose 32 pounds.

In addition to the 150 minutes I try to workout(although I've fallen short since the start of the new year) she wants me to add another 60 minutes. Exercising that much isn't hard. Finding the TIME to exercise that much is since Avalon hates to go to the Y daycare now. Wii Biggest Loser here i come.

I'm hoping this and the test in a couple weeks will help me get on the right track. I've already invested 14 months in my efforts and I'm not throwing that away. I just wish it were a bit easier and I don't think losing 1-2 pounds a week is unreasonable. I just work WAY too hard to only lose 2 pounds a month. And if worse comes to worse, it takes me a year to lose 30 pounds and 3 years to get to my goal. At least I'm losing.


  1. You don't sound obsessive to me. I count everything too. You can do this and I hope that it really makes a difference!

    You can do this and remember your last line, "At least I'm losing!"

  2. You can do it!

    And well done on the 32 so far.

  3. Don't give up! Every body is different and you just need to find what works for you.

    A few things I know that may help:

    1) Drink plenty of water.
    2) Get at least 7, preferably 8 hours of sleep a night. Inadequate sleep can hinder you from losing weight.
    3) Your back and chest are the largest muscles in your body, which also means, they are HUGE fat burners when utilized. SO make sure you work these muscles out during you're work outs. They will help burn fat through out the day.

    Hope this helps.

    Good Luck!