Dialogue to just about every kids movie out there. I mention this especially because we have been watching Enchanted every day this week at least once and twice on several occasions. Last week, it was Toy Story 3. Before that, Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue, and prior to that The Wizard of Oz. And before I knew it, I was "singing of my true love's kiss," pledging "faith, trust, and pixie dust," and suffering at the hands of a wicked witch who kept telling me, "I'll get you my pretty and you're little dog too." This coming from a gal who rarely watched any movie twice.
Other people's kids will drive you even more nuts once to have your own. Especially if they are kids you don't know and said kids teach your child some nasty habit.
You will become your mother, and those spit baths your promised never to give to your own kid, you give on a more frequent basis than you'd care to admit.
You may never shower or pee alone again. In fact I get more privacy showering at the Y.
Sleep is for sissies! And man am I the biggest sissy of all. I dreamed of the day when Avalon would be a three or four years old and out of the baby sleeping habits. Boy was I wrong. The girl has yet to sleep through the night, unless you count getting up to come down to our bed to sleep.
That pet, you thought was your baby and would always be treated the same regardless of how many children came along? Yeah I thought so too and at first that was true but then Murph began to bark at everything. First I thought it was cute. He was protecting Avalon. Then he started stealing her food, and now he tries to steal just about everything. He is no longer my baby but my adolescent teenager with an attitude. Yes I still love him but he can make day to day a pain.
Shopping gets way more fun once you have a kid. Yeah, post pregancy , those clothes you have don't fit and buying for yourself is not so much fun but buying for the bambino? A total blast! Clothes? Too cute! Toys? Even better.
You suddenly become less invincible and realize your getting old. (Unless your Jeff and it takes a sledding accident to remind him he's not as young as he once was) Most of the toys we bought Avalon this year, we had when we were kids. For example, the Baby Alive we bought, I had when I was seven. Yeah so? Yeah, that was 21 years ago folks. Holy crap, if that doesn't make ya feel old. And if nothing else, a will and life insurance definitely will remind you that won't be here forever.
On the flip side, you get to do kid things again. Don't let Jeff fool ya for one second, he relishes in playing slotcars with Avalon. Feeding ducks is way more fun when you have kids. And as silly as it might seem, I love helping Avalon play with her babies. Chutes and Ladders is probably one of the funnest board games I've played in ages! Not even kidding.
I would never want to raise a child alone. This is some serious business and hard work. I don't know how single moms do it. Especially on the days you need a break!
And as much as some moms try, parenthood is not a competition. We are raising little humans, not racing cars. Each child has their own pace at which they learn.
Everything you say will show up in their vocabulary some day. Case in point, I don't cuss a lot but am known to say dammit when things really aren't going my way. So one day I caught her saying it and we had a discussion about dammit is Mommy word and darn it is a kid word. I forgot all about it until Jeff came home and she says, "Daddy, dammit is a Mommy word and darn it is a kid word." Consider yourself warned.
Once a roomful of doctors and nurses have looked at your nether regions, it takes a whole to be embarrassed. So when your kid says she had "diahree" as Avalon calls diahrhea to her entire preschool class, its not quite as embarrassing as you would've been prechild.
Last, it is all totally worth it. The sleepless nights, horrible colic/acid reflux, postpartum depression, stomach ailments and doctors visits don't even pack a punch to all the fun and love I've experienced in only three years. It doesn't hurt that I have the most awesome kid ever and great hubby to help raise her.